Friday, February 03, 2006
on friends.
woohoo! Fun at geisha last night. I held my drink and got high, not drunk. Didn't puke either! =D will post some of Mark and Zhuoneng's Broke(*ahem, bare)back Mountain pictures in my next post or something. muahahahaEvents that unfolded last night got me thinking about friendships. They are meant to be the foundations of our lives away from our family in an unfamiliar land. The Chinese have a saying that 'zai jia kao fu mu, chu wai kao peng you', which loosely translates as 'whilst at home you depend on your parents but whilst outside you depend on your friends'. But how will you know which people will stand up for you when the going gets tough? But you will know, when a friend turns her back on you, walks past you like you don’t exist and believes vicious rumours that other people spread about you.
I have learnt, since secondary school, that people believe what they want to believe. If they are your true friends, it is impossible that they would trust those who are out to malign you. Being naive or gullible is not an excuse for turning your back against your friend. You have chosen who you want to believe, and I guess it is just your loss.
This is how you separate the wheat from the chaff. But it still saddens me when one whom I thought was my friend turns out to be that way. It’s the dull ache in my heart as I mourn the demise of a potential friendship; a bittersweet taste in my mouth. The insipid taste of betrayal and disappointment, mixed with the odd happiness at the knowledge that at least it happened now than some time in the future.
Too many people have walked through my life this way, some hurting me more than others. However strong I may make myself out to be, when I open myself up to a friendship, the disappointment and sadness still seep through the cracks of the armor I have built for myself.
You know who you are.
insatiable at 7:08 AM
3 Comments
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at 8:31 PM
wenrui said... Friends with clay feet. When the rain comes, they get washed away. =)
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at 4:06 PM
said... what you said is so true.....i have the same feeling but never knew how to describe it out in words. never knew u could describe yourself so accurately....thanks for writing how i feel in words. cheers
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at 7:45 AM
insatiable said...
hm.. just wondering, who was the one who posted the second comment? =)
p.s. it's my pleasure.
