Friday, September 01, 2006
don't believe everything you hear about me
There was a really dark period of my life, way back when I was 14. My class hated me, and I felt alone and really sad. It was a stupid incident that sparked it off, and I admit I was partially at fault. But, as they say, children can be the most cruel. I would buy lunch back from a nearby food centre, and eat in front of the tv. I ate a bar of Cadbury's almost everyday.I write this not for you to pity me. I don't regret that time, because it has made me so much stronger and more aware of my identity.
People say what they want to say, and believe what they choose to believe. Nothing I do or say can change their minds unless they are willing to do so in the first place. Futhermore, I can't please everyone, nor do I want to try. So I have learnt to laugh off what people say about me. They don't know me at all, who are they to judge? I am who I am, and if you actually get to know me, you will find out that I am not what they say. So long as I have friends and family, who love me for me, and who don't think there is anything seriously wrong with me, I am good. I don't need the world to love me. Even if I made everyone else happy, what use would it be if being someone else made me sad?
Reputations are built on the shaky game of broken telephone. Sure, there is no smoke without fire, but just because I like to wear my skirts short does not mean I sleep around. Just because I am friendly and sociable does not mean I'm easy.
Doesn't it seem contradictory? The fact that I claim to not be affected by rumours and "reputations" but I'm blogging about it.
I don't give a shit. But when someone I love is affected by what people say, that makes me sit up and listen. To you it may be nothing, just a random comment. Distorted and spiced up, with no concrete proof. Do you care if it hurts someone? Do you care if it places doubts in the mind of someone I love? I'll bet you never even thought about it.
To everyone out there: if I have ever been mean, bitchy or obnoxious to you, I apologise. But tell me, so I know. If I have never done anything to you or I don't even know you, then stop judging me because you have no right at all.
To you: love me for the person you have come to know, and not judge me for the person other people say I am.
insatiable at 1:08 AM
21 Comments
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at 2:51 AM
said... maybe you should have thought about that before snatching him right under that other girl's nose. heh. thats what i heard. tell me, is that true? tell me so i wont judge.
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at 5:01 AM
insatiable said... I have never "snatched" someone else's boyfriend. If you can provide me with some details, I can defend myself more adequately.
Why are you afraid of leaving your name?-
at 5:44 PM
said...
then explain how your boy got with you in notts while he was still attached to his ex in singapore. that's last i heard. stop trying to be so righteous. if the short-skirt wearing, flirtatous, bitchy front is what youre going to show the world, then don't be so surprised when everyone calls u a slut. what you see is what you get. it's a cruel world out there. so either you play it's games, or you lose. there's no point trying to reason that you're a different girl under the short skirts and bitchy front because that's all that everyone sees.
good luck to that.
i never knew you personally, but you sure had a reputation back in school.-
at 9:49 AM
wenrui said...
Nahhhh... won't believe what i hear about you. That's just plain stupid.
Anyway, it takes two hands to clap. So even if you did snatch someone's boyfriend... he'd have to cheat on his girl first. Hmmnn. I wonder why no one says anything about that. Tsk. What you see is what you get. Heh.-
at 12:30 PM
said...
Haha... I will give you some words of encouragement if you massage me. Heh heh. We will talk when we meet...
Dont be affectedc by all this k!!! ;)
Smelly and I think ur way cool. and he thinks that i am cool too.. hahahhahas... ;)
Take care dear.
PS: Magic sucks-
at 11:47 PM
said...
Well everyone has free will to choose who they wanna be with! For a guy to get 'snatched', he's gotta allow that! And it really isn't wrong to make a decision ain't it?
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at 12:05 AM
insatiable said...
For the record, he was in the process of breaking up with his ex when we started dating. Their relationship was in shambles but she didn't want to break up. He told her he wanted out already. I think my conscience is clear.
My whole point is that wearing short skirts does not make me a slut. But if you choose to make that connection and pre-judge me, then it is your loss.
Jon: Thanks for always believing in me =)
Qing: *hugs* thanks girl, I think you are waaaay cool too!! hee. oh, and when keat has magic, you have me!!! hahaha.. i'll give you a massage then =D
weewee: yeah, the decision was already made on his part, but perhaps some other people misunderstood the situation..-
at 10:29 AM
said...
Sorry, but i believe everything i hear about you.
And cosmic justice seems to have reared his head, since i spotted your dear boyfriend walking with some other girl about town.
Just thought you'd like to know.-
at 12:14 PM
insatiable said...
Hahahaha, cosmic justice indeed. For those in the know, the shit is on your face Yan.
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at 12:40 PM
said...
does your bf know about this blog? how come he hasn't said anything all this while?
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at 5:05 PM
said...
shit indeed. i find all this talk fascinating. but then, im not the one losing here.
all of dunman, and probably vj too, knows that the kind of person you claim to be here, and the kind of person you really are, are so different.-
at 12:40 AM
wenrui said...
At least Yan is bothering to read and make some comments etc. And, she's apologised to you too. Give her some credit. Heh.
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at 8:35 PM
said...
Just a few thots..
1) Why does 'boyfren with some other girl walking down town' seem suspicious? Why do we always suspect the worst?
2) No one really understands anyone fully. No one even understands themselves fully. On the stage of life we are different people to different frens and different environments. But you are never yourself till you are alone.-
at 12:39 AM
said...
boyfriend walking about town with another girl - mmm.
word gets around. he's seeing someone else, quite frequently- and it sure ain't vic. the notts community is rather small, not to mention the singaporean community in the UK.-
at 6:05 PM
said...
they broke up, get it over it people. not everything is gossip...
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at 8:34 PM
said...
Yo Ape!! without the B.
How's the gonorrhoea coming along...antibiotics helping?
Heard you got UK strand of herpes in you...bleh.-
at 8:11 PM
said...
child, you're getting it all wrong, giving yourself too much credit. victoria, it is likely your outward appearance that got/gained you your friends. unfortunately, people would dislike you not because you're pretty, and in fact you DRESS WELL. people dislike you because of what they saw in your heart. or for that matter, what others who know you saw in your heart.
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at 11:10 AM
said...
Sher baby...
You certain Vic's pretty? She looks like a bag of cellulite trutting around Nottingham, or what she fashionably and poseurly call Notts.
I'm sure her heart is just calorie clogged up..
Jokes aside, oh yeah, whole of s'pore is laughing at your slutty antics that so portrays the opposite of hedonism. Its disgust btw.
Your betrayal tactics towards everyone and your desperateness to be 'different' has slandered other's perception of yourself.
But anyway, who cares right? faking the strong self you are NOT, who needs frens in singapore where you've got frens in UK, you are so wrong..THERE ARE MANY HATE STORIES PASSING AROUND UK FROM YOUR SINGAPOREAN COUNTERPARTS!!! WAKE UP..
You either Shape up or shape out!!
And on that point too, i mean your cellulite flobes as well.-
at 12:08 AM
said...
how do 'slutty antics' portray the 'opposite of hedonism'? how did you come to that conclusion? isn't going from guy to guy, as u claim she does, the pursuit of pleasure and outrightly hedonistic?
i've known vic for a really long time now and after all this time, i can easily tell you that she is really flawed and not as sweet and innocent as she likes to think. well guess what? i'm not as good as i think i am either and neither are you.
you have every right to come here and slam her upside down since she chose to make this a public blog but what's with your name? Jesus hates you? who on earth do you think you are to take the name of a religious figurehead and use it for your own devices. you're no better than those islamic extremists twisting the words of the Q'uran to wage terrorism.
you want to lend more credibility to your stinging words than have some courage and leave a prper name. it's so easy for mudslinging to occur behind the cover of a pseudonym isn't it?
why the farce? if you're so righteous, and if Jesus has got your back, why can't you just come out and say it to her face that you think she's a tramp? will people think less of you when they see how you're bitching? would your reputation be tarnished?
i'm only writing all this cos i've seen and heard vic go thru so much crap. so what if you don't like her? get on with your life. maybe you should go discuss this with Jesus Himself before you continue with this line.
people make bad choices all the time. i know people who dont like vic simply cos they've heard nothing but bad things abt her. i mean, what kind of crap is that? you don't even know her and yet you pass judgement? do YOU know her?
i'm sure what u meant to tell her was to shape up or ship out. do u really have the moral highground to make a statement like that?
if you don't like what she types, then don't come back here.-
at 11:29 PM
wenrui said...
well said, Cheok. Well said. Talk about casting the first stone. Heh.
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at 12:58 AM
said...
Its all about life, I have always believed that if a guy was not meant for me, I would rather know it now then later. Why be bitter or hold on to someone who is not worth it / meant to be? If he would walk away from you he is not worth it.
Why would you inturn make someone else's life miserable by making them the target of your unhappiness? To tarnish a person's reputation is very easy, people in general believe what they hear, and out of that there maybe 50% heresay, 20% truth and 30% plumping to make the story interesting.
Shakehead, I'm learning in life now, if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything. Whatever goes around comes around.
