Thursday, July 28, 2005
oO..
me? RGS? well.. I almost went there.. but ended up in.. nevermind.Raffles Girl's school
Smartest of the lot with unprecedented arrogance.
And pUhlEeese... start Cheering like girls and
be RGS girls not RI GUYS!
Wad girl's school should you be from?
brought to you by Quizilla
insatiable at 4:48 PM
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
And Mark is.......
*mauahahahhahahahhahahahhahahaa*
why am i not surprised? =P
insatiable at 7:36 PM
yay!
insatiable at 7:30 PM
How can it be this way??
Whilst browsing one of my schoolmate's blog, I stumbled upon an entry about her trip to Rome and the Vatican City. She said, and I quote,"The basilica is soooooooo amazing it takes your breath away. I had mass and confession there. IT was really significant. ...I wished I had alother catholic with me to appreciate what I felt. I rweally feel proud to be a catholic now."
This feeling of pride and renewed enthusiasm for the religion is exactly what I did NOT feel.
Yes, I was in awe of the asthetic beauty of the towering roman pillars, the intricate artwork, the attention to detail on each statue (down to the very last fold on their robe!), and the breathtaking birds-eye view from the top of St Peter's basilica. The grandeur and opulence of the entire city is what moved me but from a purely secular point of view.
But (and this is a very big but), from a christian's point of view, I was absolutely disgusted. It was as if the entire vatican city had big neon words strung around it which flashed intermittently, "WE HAVE MORE MONEY THAN WE KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH". The extremely public display of wealth stung like a slap accross my face.
How much of the billions of dollars poured into building this material structure, these beautiful paintings, these intricate statues could be used to feed children in the third world? Children who are starving at the rate of one every second (if a popular commercial is to be believed)? How much of this money could be used to build more churches in underdeveloped areas? Or even to build housing for underpriviledged (ah, the political correctness!) people? Instead of saving and building lives, we now have a.... *drum roll*.. ginormous BUILDING!!! How charitable. Oh, the hypocrisy.
Just thinking about it now, 6 months later, gives me the goosebumps.
Stepping into the building, you spot statues ( Oh God, STATUES! Whatever happened to "thou shall not have any idols before me"???? ) with their right foot worn down right down to the pedestal. Why, you may scratch your head and ask. Well because millions of worshippers have placed their hands and lips at the right foot of Jesus Christ to pray. Oh, sorry, it is the right foot of a statue of JC.
You also see special praying pews in front of a glass coffin, with a dried up person inside. On closer inspection, you realise it is the corpse of an ex-pope. And people are on their knees praying before him, as if he were the one that could save their lives. Admittedly, he could have been a good, god-fearing man; a great man even, but he is NOT God. There is only ONE God, and the guy in the coffin is most definitely not He. So why should you be praying to him? He will not wash away your sins, he does not have the power to save you. The whole affair reeks of pagan ancestor worship.
I had much much more to rant about six months ago, but the gradual fading of my memory has lead to the loss of much of the fuel. What will never fade however, is that feeling of disgust at the building which calls itself a church. My mouth contorts into a sneer at the very thought of that day.
By this post, I am not pronouncing myself to be the best and most morally upright (haha) christian in the world. Neither am I beyond criticism. I have my faults and I will openly and honestly admit to them. But the Vatican is a city that prides itself on being the centre of catholicism, the role model to all the catholics out there. How can it possibly be this way?
insatiable at 5:03 PM
Monday, July 25, 2005
gawd. I'm feeling like total crap. It's that horrible feeling you have just before you fall sick, where all your muscles and joints start to ache. It feels like little needles are being stuck in me and twisted around for a bit! =( Tomorrow is so gonna be worse.My body is probably protesting about the late late nights I have been keeping. Mm.. think I haven't been home earlier than 1am for a loong time. In my defense, le tour de france has been showing on star sports at 10pm and runs all the way till 12plus. So when the Boy sends me home its bound to be about one. Oh yes, Armstrong won for the 7th time again today! woohoo!
It's just that I love love love the nights, the solitude, the peace, the feeling that time is all yours.
*yawns* I better get to sleep. Hopefully my poor bod won't feel so wonky tmr. ta~
insatiable at 2:06 AM
Monday, July 11, 2005
tsd
Tsd is all (and perhaps more) that i remember it to be, and its not just the theatre I am talking about. Tonight was the last night of the '05 Tsd Public Performance, and watching it after such a long time just brings back bittersweet memories of my stint there. After going through it myself, I could fully appreciate the work, sweat and tears that had to be put in to produce work of such quality.I had a love-hate relationship with tsd. I loved acting and theatre, but hated the politics and some of the people. How could people so exposed to the spectrum of society (through plays) could be so narrow-minded and judgemental? I never could understand why people couldn't just come up to me and tell me what they didn't like about me, and perhaps we could work our differences out. But no! They chose to hide behind their indiferrent looks and hushed whispers when I walked past.
Why couldn't just one of them have the guts to say, " Vic, I think your skirt is too short.", or " Vic, I hate your face." ? I would have appreciated the refreshing honesty, and taken their criticisms with an open mind. Honestly!
For every 10 hushed words, I would catch one. And that one would be enough to ruin my day. I couldn't concentrate on acting, cuz those words would always whiz past at the back of my mind. It was impossible for me to be as dedicated to tsd as some of these people were, cuz I just didn't want to be anywhere near them. As a result, I became increasingly alienated from them, and the rift just seemed to grow.
So what if I wore my skirt short? I still do. So what if I chose to eat with my friends outside tsd? I have a life too, you know. So what if I like to flirt and had more than one guy friend? I never went for any guy in tsd, much less the one that was your boyfriend. You never knew the real me, so you don't have the right to judge me. The "me" you knew was just a front, I had to be strong, I could not let you win.
I can't say I hate these people. Hate is a strong emotion, just a hair's width away from Love. To hate someone you need to have feelings towards them, and I just cannot be bothered to muster the energy to hate them. I choose only to be apathetic. These people mean nothing to me, and they can no longer affect me with their words or actions. I have chosen to love and accept myself for who I am, and I will no longer chase the illusion that others have created of me.
But however I try, I will never forget the words that were said. They are a painful reminder, but also a lesson in life: Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. I have forgiven, but not forgotten.
insatiable at 1:38 AM
Thursday, July 07, 2005
momo II
wow. twice in a week I have gone to Momo..to Ash: (if you ever read this) Great set! Take care of yourself and of your voice! Your vocal cords are your instrument so take good care of them alright? =)
haha. I'm just blogging for the sake of doing so. Hey, its 4 am in the morning so pardon the inane-ness. =)
p.s. baby, you are "the reason"! *) muaks.
insatiable at 4:11 AM
Sunday, July 03, 2005
those were the days.....
insatiable at 5:32 AM
momo
Funnily, this trip to a newly-opened club was more quiet and contemplative rather than all out partying. The night started out normally, but as it wore on, I realised that it was going to be like no other!Inspite of the blaring music, H and I managed to carry on a conversation about humanity (or the lack thereof!). He has changed so much in the one year that I was gone for. His outlook and attitude towards life seem to have been altered, but not beyond recognition. After all, he is still the same guy I knew from eons back. We also gossiped about V, and I guess she might have her reasons for committing the atrocities that she did, but I still cannot forgive her. To me, friendship (or any relationship for that matter) is about trust and honesty, without which the ties that bind are merely illusions. A friendship built on lies is akin to the proverbial house built on sand, they both deserve to fall.
When H was busy, I sat alone in the live music lounge and nursed a glass of vodka orange. It was as if I had a plastic, transparent bubble around me, and all the worries and distractions of the outside world evaded me. Listening to Ash sing, I let my thoughts froth and bubble in my little head. Just Me. It was an amazing experience cuz I felt, for once, like the eye of the tornado.
insatiable at 4:47 AM
This 
