Monday, October 31, 2005
who am i?
Advanced Global Personality Test Results |
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Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion results were very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity
trait snapshot:
messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture
so this is me? =)
insatiable at 2:46 AM
3comments
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
the big 2-0
Fourty Five minutes. That's just how long before the clock strikes twelve and I turn TWENTY. It's a whole new number! okok, perhaps I'm getting a tad worked up here, but I do think that it is a milestone. Maybe not as important as, say, 21, but a whole new decade all the same. A new beginning? (God, that sounds so cliche)
Looking back at all the wild times I had in the past decade, I realised I've grown up a lot. It is surreal, how we go through our lives looking for who we are and what we want to be, yet never really finding it. After all, the hardest person to understand is yourself. Sometimes, I just do things cuz I feel like it, with little regard to why and what will happen. Foolhardy eh? But yeah, that's just me.
Have I done stupid things? Of course! I remember holding on to a dead relationship, full of teenage (ah, I cannot use that word anymore!) hope and puppy love, hoping that maybe, just maybe things would happen like in those boy band love songs and sappy movies. Two years on, I met up with him again, and I found he was not half the man I built in my mind. I have also held on to a dying relationship, wanting to prove, just for once, that I am relationship material, and not just a weekend fling. But in the process subjecting myself to needless physical and mental trauma. I learnt that I should love myself more than that. I have trusted a friend too much, lent her my money and my trust, and having it all broken in the end. Hell, she even called me a bad friend after all I did.
At the end, though, I am an optimist. I believe in the good in people and the beauty in life. I believe that there is much more of life to experience and you won't know what sweetness is if you haven't tasted all the other flavours. Good or bad, I am taught something each time. I would hate to become one of those cynical old people with a perpetual snarl or sarcastic smile on their lips. I think those people are sad. They have no one left to hate but themselves, and nothing to hold on to in the world they live in.
Am I a composition of all the experiences I've had? Or perhaps a mesh of all the ideas I have on life? What defines me? It's funny how I am usually the person in the group without a definite direction. Say, if my friends are the girl-next-door, or the wild-child, then what am I? On the bright side, I guess I'm not stereotyped, not strapped down to a certain mold i must follow. Sometimes it just feels as though I need to find myself.
Twenty. Two decades.
Enough of the past, I am now going to enjoy the future, the many many more decades (fingers crossed) to come.
insatiable at 6:04 AM
1comments
Thursday, October 13, 2005
here I am
sitting in the computer lab of the law and social sciences building, waiting for the next two lectures to begin. 4 lectures in a day. That is simply, bloody inhuman.
And so life at nottingham begins again, with barely a resigned sigh. The weather (there is nothing much else to talk about anyway) is holding up quite well, despite occassional showers in the late evenings and early mornings. Definitely not as bad as the totally crap weather we had to endure last year!
When i start a sentence, I naturally forget to capitalise. It seems normal and ingrained to rely on the luxuries of technology and the wonders of microsoft word. Thanks Bill! =)
Ok, so I am writing crap, verbal diarhhoa and mental constipation (nod to mr goh). Give the poor girl a chance! I'll sign off here now, and spare you lot the grief. ciao!
p.s. When people talk about certain (usually unpleasant) events as part of growing up, have you ever wondered when growing up really ends? It's so vague. Ah well. Not all things in this world are supposed to make sense anyway.
insatiable at 8:42 PM
1comments
